For today’s poem, I went through transcripts of Trump’s speeches from the past few months and pieced together phrases he said to create a bizarre poem about COVID-19.
Of course, most of it is pretty out-of-context, but there were a few stanzas that were almost one long quote. I’ve also kept his grammar errors that I came across, and I believe I only added one word. This was a fun one.
Trump Wrote A Coronavirus Poem
by Lauren Hallstrom
Beautiful day in the Rose Garden,
tremendous distance between chairs.
It’s really pretty impressive to see.
It’s incredible and it’s all brand new
and at the highest level, we’re getting only the highest level.
Now, this is just my hunch:
We have it totally under control. It’s one person coming in from China,
and we have it under control.
It’s going to be just fine.
Watch very closely for the invisible enemy.
Where are the masks going? Are they going out the back door?
Somebody should probably look into that.
I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic.
I always treated the Chinese Virus very seriously, and have
done a very good job from the beginning.
I just don’t see, from a practical standpoint,
how that’s possible to go from
that to that.
I think it’s maybe worse than hoarding.
A lot of people are dying, so it’s very unpleasant.
You have the mask on. Yeah, that’s great. Just for a second.
See the men in front of you? Are you worried about her? Are you worried?
He’s not worried. Look, he’s protected. Go ahead.
The postal service is a joke.
I hope I didn’t get any of your clients in trouble,
but it could be that they are in trouble.
Stop. You can’t work. You have to stay home.
I know insurance companies better than anybody.
I know more about drones,
the power of Facebook
than anybody. I know about every form of safety
that you can have.
Why don’t you act in a little more positive?
Why didn’t we just wing it?
Yeah, I’m an energy person.
If the sun is out, it goes away in less than a minute.
It’s always trying to get you.
Somebody said to me today
they didn’t know that we had that many countries.
No, not you. You were there. If you’re there,
I never forget. You were.
I didn’t say that.
I’d like to talk about something
that right now is of more interest…
So, supposedly we hit the body with a tremendous,
whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful, light.
I guess maybe depending on whose hands you’re talking about.
I see the disinfectant,
where it knocks it out in one minute.
I guess that’s one of the reasons they say wash your hands.
Then I said
supposing you brought the light inside the body,
which you can do either through the skin or
in some other way,
is there a way we can do something like that
by injection inside
or almost a cleaning, because you see
it gets in the lungs.
It does a tremendous number on the lungs.
Sounds interesting, right?
The fake news didn’t like it at all.
I hear stories like that all the time.
This is a hard surface.
It will miraculously disappear.
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